National Geographic's Taboo Full Of Man-Babies, Triple K Breasts and Doll Obsessed Families

My obsession with National Geographic’s Taboo might be considered just that, taboo.

No, I’m not talking about the board game where you get a buzzer and fire an obnoxious noise into an opponent’s ear.

I’m talking about a show that is fittingly on National Geographic about the fascinating, shocking, and loony things people do in their (private) lives.

Since there was a marathon on Monday night, I will catalogue my three favorite segments:

3.) The Texas woman with size Triple K breasts, that’s right, A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K! If you can’t picture that, the calm and collected narrator described them as the size of regulation basketballs (hard to resist making an NBA joke here).

Since one implant was from the US and the other from Brazil, funky things were happening beneath them and they had to come out.  But she got some new knockers later.

2.) The Japanese kick boxer who is famous in Japan as a tough, rough, athlete moonlights as a Cosplayer--Cosplay is defined as the act of one dressing up like female Anime cartoon characters.

Keep in mind this involves platform Maryjanes, pigtails, short tutu-like skirts, and knee socks.  He insists he is entirely heterosexual.

1.) Most people who viewed the program would say that their favorite segment was the adult baby named Stanley, a odd man-baby who has been all over the internet.

Stanley is in his 40s and wears footie PJs (what size are those?) and drinks out of a bottle whilst an elderly woman reads stories to him. To relax. You know, after a hard day of handicrafting over-sized playpens, highchairs, and cribs.

But for my favorite segment, I choose the woman with the REBORNS!

Reborns, are extremely lifelike painstakingly detailed baby dolls that people send away for and treat like real human babies.

They look real, but are not quite perfectly human, so it makes me feel uncomfy.

Especially the one that the lady has in a Baby Bjorn, Jacob, that looks like Chuckie…so disconcerting. And she has another baby, Emma Lee that is made to look asleep, which since it’s lifeless anyway, appears dead.

Then we take a visit into her basement where we learn she is in fact an artist/creator of these Reborns.

The creation of these dolls is a crazily complicated process that certainly involves patience and talent, but that doesn’t take away the heebie jeebies (#thingswhitepeoplesay) one gets from seeing almost alive baby body parts, faces, and heads in disarray all over her basement. And they have bean bag bodies which again, is heebie jeebie inducing…as it seems like they’ve been stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey.

What I considered the highlight of this segment is when the woman, her husband, and stepson are shown going on outings with their Reborns, Emma Lee and Jacob.

While out, they receive the same positive responses that any baby in a stroller or baby slung across an adult receives. But the immediate affection for these babies visibly deteriorates.  You watch the innocent baby lovers freeze, understand that the baby is not moving, and get pissed.

According to one of the many psychiatrists featured on this show, “people don’t like to be deceived” and when bystanders give these fake babies attention they feel like they’ve been tricked. And well, cooing at a doll--that'll make you feel like a true a-hole.

“Taboo” on National Geographic Monday nights at 10pm EST/9pm CST